Return to Ash
by logantriestowrite
Summary: Elysaa Cousland loses the one thing she loves most, Cailan.


Heart hammering in her chest, Elyssa set the beacon aflame.

Where were Loghain's men?

The stench of smoke and tainted blood filled the air, and her hands shook with fear.

Darkspawn were flooding into the top of the tower and surrounding them. There were too many.

Sweat dripped down her back as she breathed deeply.

She readied her daggers in her hands and drove into the horde. It seemed as if every fiend she put an end to, three more took their place.

"What will we do?" She shouted over the clang of metal.

"We fight or we die."

She nodded, and she vowed she would keep going until she could no longer.

She would NOT end up like her parents. She would fight, and she would win.

Or so she thought.

She dove, but she wasn't quick enough. A steel tipped arrow dug into her chest, and she collapsed immediately.

Her name was the last thing she heard before everything went dark and the blackness overtook her.

-‐-

Things didn't improve when she woke.

Everything she had held dearly had been ripped away from her grasp, and her mind couldn't process the loss.

First her parents... and then Cailan.

The young King who put on a brave face for his soldiers. One who carried the confidence needed to keep their morale up, but she saw through it at Ostagar.

Cailan was smart enough to know that his army needed to look up to him. He knew they needed to see him unshaken.

She had pleaded with him to not be on the front lines to no avail. He had to be there for his men. He had to put on a brave face and show them courage.

But by the Maker, if _only_ he had listened.

The tears flowed freely as the group made their way silently to Lothering.

Elyssa didn't want to speak to anyone. Especially Alistair. His face... They looked too much alike.

Thankfully, neither Alistair or Morrigan wanted to speak either.

Her heart constricted painfully with every step, knowing she was leaving Cailan on that battlefield. She was leaving him behind.

_I should have never agreed to go to the tower. I should have been on the frontlines alongside of him. Maybe I could have saved him._

The what if's were running rampant through her mind, and she couldn't free herself of them.

The man she loved lay dead.

_Oh Cailan__..._

She vowed she would come back for him when it was safe to do so. She would come and give his body a proper burial. She owed him that much and so much more.

She wanted to come alone, but she knew that wouldn't be a very good idea.

She had allowed Alistair and her faithful mabari to tag along for extra protection.

The Imperium built fortress was buried in heaps of snow and dead bodies littered the ground.

The air was cold as it blew across her face, and the smell of rotting flesh stung her nostrils.

Her eyes watered, but not from the cold nor the scent flooding her with every step. The thought of seeing Cailan struck a blow to her heart, and she wondered if she would ever be free of the pain.

"Are you all right?" Alistair asked as he wiped his blade free of blood.

She shook her head and took off her helmet letting him see the hurt flooding her eyes. She hastily wiped the tears beneath her eyes.

"No," she admitted quietly and breathed deeply, closing her eyes. She saw him, standing in front of her with open arms. Arms she desperately wanted to run into but it wasn't real. "But thank you for asking."

Her warm tone had turned cold, and she slid her plated helm back over her head. She only had one thing on her mind, and she wasn't going to delay it any further.

Ostagar was overrun with darkspawn, but they were no match for her fury.

She had collected the strewn pieces of his armor, and her mind couldn't fathom just why the darkspawn had stripped him of it.

She continued making her way until she got to the bridge leading to the Tower of Ishal.

Her chest tightened and her lungs burned. There he was.

She took off at a lightning speed and crossed the distance separating them in a flash.

She dropped to her knees in front of him and wept.

The darkspawn had strung him up as if he were crucified and left him to rot, and if that were not enough, some had even lodged arrows into his decaying body.

She would not allow him to be their toy any longer.

"I will avenge you, my love," she swore hotly and stood to her feet.

She was quiet as she gently took his body down from the wooden posts and laid him down on a small slab of wood.

Alistair dropped a bucket of melted snow and a few pieces of cloth beside of her.

"Thank you," she said softly and began to clean his tattered body. "I will honor you in life and death Cailan. I will never forget you. I will never let your sacrifice go to waste," she paused as she brushed his hair away from his forehead. "That's why you sent me to the tower isn't it? So I would survive. You fool, how could you do this to us? You never gave us the chance! You took away our chance!"

She jerked her hand away from his corpse and stared into the bright sun setting in the sky. "Why didn't you listen to me? You could have still been here... I wouldn't be alone anymore, Cailan. I don't want to be alone."

She flinched as Alistair's hand came to rest on her shoulder. "I'm sorry, Elyssa."

She fought the urge to be angry and closed her eyes, imagining he was beside of her. "Tis not your fault, Alistair. It is no one's but Loghain's, and believe me that man will pay along with Howe. They both have taken what matters most to me, and I plan on doing the same."

"I will be there with you if you will have me."

It would be a lie if she said she hadn't came to care deeply for Alistair, but when she looked at him, she saw Cailan and that wasn't fair to him.

"Of course," she said quietly. "He was your brother."

She picked up a clean cloth and began cleaning his disfigured body once again.

Once she was finished, Alistair helped her carry him to a pyre they had made.

She stared at his unmoving figure until the sun had set, and the sky grew dark. "I will always love you," she said as she dipped the torch into the bundle of kindling beneath him. "I look forward to being by your side once again, my love."

The fires quickly licked up the wooden pyre, and she prayed to the Maker to accept him by his side. And she prayed she would join him later on in her life.

She said nothing as the fire burned down to embers, and they retreated back out of Ostagar. She was ready to put an end to the Blight.

She knew the risks, and she knew the rewards of slaying the archdemon. She knew what would happen when the death dealing blow was struck.

Ferelden would be free from the darkspawn and could rebuild their country.

And she... she would be reunited once again with Cailan. All the wrongs would be righted.

Morrigan had came to her and told her of a dark ritual that would let the essence of the old God be placed upon an unborn child, but Elyssa couldn't place that burden on a child.

There was only one solution.

"Are you sure about this?" Alistair asked over the roaring of the archdemon.

She nodded. "It's the only way."

Elyssa took off in a sprint, and her blades met the tough hide of the archdemon. One dagger sunk into its neck as the other slammed into its head.

The demon roared as she tore the daggers free and hilted them into its hide and ripped its body open.

Dark blood covered her, and instead of fear, an overwhelming calm washed over her. She would be with him again.

She flurried her daggers once again and sank them into its skull, and this time, the beast dropped to the ground, unmoving.

But light began to pour out from its body and wrap around hers. It was painful, but she welcomed the feeling.

She saved the world.

It was worth it.

Elyssa Cousland dropped to the stone floor on Fort Drakon, and as her eyes closed, she was met with a blinding white light.

Once her eyes reopened, she was in a place filled with unimaginable beauty, and she felt no pain nor heartache.

Only joy flooded her heart and mind.

But the joy only grew when Cailan stepped towards her.

She ran out to greet him and coiled herself around him. "_Cailan_," she whispered.

His arms held her tightly. "My love. _Welcome home_."


End file.
